Thursday 5 May 2016

Thursday





I had planned on writing a post about running this week, in fact I even wrote it this morning but I was bored whilst writing it and feeling very much 'meh' about it. And that is because today is Thursday. 



Thursday, for reasons I am yet to understand, has become my weekly anxiety day. Some weeks I am blessed (ahem) with more than one anxiety day but every week, for whatever reason, I wake on a Thursday feeling useless, anxious, tired and a failure who will never achieve anything ever. And because I am a fan of the old deadline pressure and Thursday is the day I have to post a blog, which I never write in advance, I have to force myself through a blog post before I can go and hide in a hole and pretend the World does not exist. This Thursday I cannot do that as I am writing for a competition and the deadline is tomorrow, me being the deadline Queen, I probably need to do at least another four drafts till the blasted thing is ready. So Thursday or no Thursday I have got out and voted and I am bloody well just going to have to work until I cry. 


As I walked back from the poll station with my existential Thursday head feeling that my little X in the box really doesn't mean much and reflecting that it's bad luck that voting always falls on the evil day of Thursday, it's probably the entire reason the Tories keep winning, I thought to myself, why Thursday? What is it about Thursdays? I shall get to the bottom of it, I thought, like the journalist I am trying to be and thus was born, the history of Thursday.


Our journey begins with the name itself, Thursday is named Thor who is a hammer-wielding god associated with thunder and lightening. I mean, I could rest my case here but this is the history of and not the 'reasons why Thursday's are evil' - although they are evil. Thunder makes you jump, lightening can kill and hammers are pretty violent when wielded, so no wonder I wake with anxiety and the Tories gain power on Thursday's. 


Even the nursery rhyme dismisses Thursday's child. All it can say about Thursday's child is that it has far to go. So basically, if you were unlucky enough to be born on a Thursday you are going to spend your life chasing behind everyone and not quite being good enough: you poor bugger. 
Oh fuck...Mum...I wasn't born on a Thursday was I? 
Do you know what, I've got enough problems as it is, just say no. 


But what about events that happen on a Thursday? Well, there was the Last Supper; that happened on a Thursday and we all know how that ended don't we? If a friend kisses you on a cheek on a Thursday, be afraid be very afraid. Black Thursday was the start of the Wall Street crash of 1929, which sparked the great depression. The terrorist attacks in London 2005 happened on a Thursday. James Horner of the Titanic soundtrack fame was killed in a light air craft crash on a Thursday and Prince was found dead on a Thursday.


After an hour of googling Thursday's and then googling "What day did 'insert historical event' happen" that's your lot, that's all I could find.


Do you know why? Because Thursday's are evil, so evil that they have stolen the cloak of invisibility from Harry Potter's ridiculously named son Severus and they are now using it to hide themselves from history, like they don't even exist. 


But lookit, I have learnt that Wednesday could well be Thursday in disguise and if you're booking a flight, I'd avoid Tuesday's, there have been lots of crashes on a Tuesday in the last six months.


Still, any day that could bring a thunder storm is a day worth avoiding. 


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