I had planned on writing a post about running this
week, in fact I even wrote it this morning but I was bored whilst writing it
and feeling very much 'meh' about it. And that is because today is
Thursday.
Thursday, for reasons I am yet to understand, has
become my weekly anxiety day. Some weeks I am blessed (ahem) with more than one
anxiety day but every week, for whatever reason, I wake on a Thursday feeling
useless, anxious, tired and a failure who will never achieve anything ever. And
because I am a fan of the old deadline pressure and Thursday is the day I have
to post a blog, which I never write in advance, I have to force myself through
a blog post before I can go and hide in a hole and pretend the World does not
exist. This Thursday I cannot do that as I am writing for a competition and the
deadline is tomorrow, me being the deadline Queen, I probably need to do at
least another four drafts till the blasted thing is ready. So Thursday or no
Thursday I have got out and voted and I am bloody well just going to have
to work until I cry.
As I walked back from the poll station with my
existential Thursday head feeling that my little X in the box really
doesn't mean much and reflecting that it's bad luck that voting always falls on
the evil day of Thursday, it's probably the entire reason the Tories keep
winning, I thought to myself, why Thursday? What is it about Thursdays? I shall
get to the bottom of it, I thought, like the journalist I am trying to be and
thus was born, the history of Thursday.
Our journey begins with the name itself, Thursday is
named Thor who is a hammer-wielding god associated with thunder and
lightening. I mean, I could rest my case here but this is the history of
and not the 'reasons why Thursday's are evil' - although they are evil. Thunder
makes you jump, lightening can kill and hammers are pretty violent
when wielded, so no wonder I wake with anxiety and the Tories gain power
on Thursday's.
Even the nursery rhyme dismisses Thursday's child. All
it can say about Thursday's child is that it has far to go. So basically, if
you were unlucky enough to be born on a Thursday you are going to spend
your life chasing behind everyone and not quite being good enough: you poor
bugger.
Oh fuck...Mum...I wasn't born on a Thursday was
I?
Do you know what, I've got enough problems as it is,
just say no.
But what about events that happen on a Thursday? Well,
there was the Last Supper; that happened on a Thursday and we all know how that
ended don't we? If a friend kisses you on a cheek on a Thursday, be afraid be
very afraid. Black Thursday was the start of the Wall Street crash of 1929,
which sparked the great depression. The terrorist attacks in London 2005
happened on a Thursday. James Horner of the Titanic soundtrack fame was killed
in a light air craft crash on a Thursday and Prince was found dead on a
Thursday.
After an hour of googling Thursday's and then googling
"What day did 'insert historical event' happen" that's your lot, that's
all I could find.
Do you know why? Because Thursday's are evil, so evil
that they have stolen the cloak of invisibility from Harry Potter's
ridiculously named son Severus and they are now using it to hide themselves
from history, like they don't even exist.
But lookit, I have learnt that Wednesday could
well be Thursday in disguise and if you're booking a flight, I'd avoid
Tuesday's, there have been lots of crashes on a Tuesday in the last six months.
Still, any day that could bring a thunder storm is a day worth avoiding.
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